Giving myself some credit

I was reading a book (surprise, surprise) in which one of the characters had recently moved to the US from France. In the midst of the story the character is relating a challenge to another character and the thought crosses the other's mind. It went something like this: "She had to be tough as nails. Not everyone could pull up stakes and move to a foreign country. That took real guts." And it struck my heart. That's me. The character's talking about me.

Yes, there have been a lot of challenges. Yes, it's been hard. Yes, I've wanted to go home. Yes, it's been rewarding. Yes, it's been fun. Yes, it's been....whatever this time has been it has shown me that I do have guts. Granted, I trust that God brought me here, that He called me here, but couldn't I have also just as easily ignored that call as easily as I obeyed it? I think so. And yet, I chose to follow. That takes faith. That takes courage.

I am looking at my wall right now and it's covered with pictures of me with my friends and family. Today's one of those days where I just want to be home with them. I miss them all and there are some challenges right now and it seems easier to me to escape to home rather than deal with them. I don't know who this person is sometimes that's here. She's not who I was when I got here....and while that's often good, sometimes I don't like who I've become. I have to ask Jesus to make me into the person He wants me to be. I need to trust that the Holy Spirit is at work in my heart and my life. And I need to give myself some credit and cut myself some slack. I've done something most people couldn't do outside of their wildest dreams. I left everything behind in order to follow God and my heart. And that takes some guts...