Everything's (still) fine

I started this blog oh so many years ago as a space to process what was going on in my life, work on my writing, and just share the things that God has been doing in and through me. I haven't written in the last couple of years because, well, there's been a lot going on. Since starting this blog, I've moved to and from Italy, started a business, welcomed two nieces and three nephews, said goodbye to my grandpa, met, dated, broken up with not-so-great guys, started a real relationship with a great-guy, diagnosed with cancer, kicked cancer's butt, married the great guy, became a stepmom, went through too much harder than hard stuff with the stepson, saw my business take off, bought a house, went through a global pandemic, became a 'fur mom' to two energy-full Labradors, experience the slow death of my business, and so much more in between. I've been blessed with grand adventures and struggled to bring myself back to living life in the States, despite being home for nearly 7 years. I've seen my relationship with Jesus wane (because of me, not Him) and now I am holding firm to the hope and Truth that He is with me and has never left my side despite myself and what I choose to do or not do.

So, why have I returned to this space? My life, once more, feels like it's in the midst of or about to be in the midst of change. I can sense the wind is changing. The Lord is preparing me for something. Every time, and I do mean every single time, the Lord has moved in a significant way in my life He's been gracious to give me an inkling that something is on the horizon. I hate change. I really do. As I've said before, once change happens and I accept it, I am ok, but that time and space just as the change happens can really throw me and I freeze like a deer in headlights. And so it's in the times leading up to that my gracious Heavenly Father who knows me better than I know myself begins to prepare me for the change so that it's not as big of a shock as it could have been. He did this for me when I lost my job at Grand Canyon U in 2004, before Geneva College announced it was closing its Rome campus, when my business began to see a large decline, and even when my mom was sick. He's good like that. 

I don't know what's coming. I can't decide if I'm excited about it or afraid of it. I can't decide if this is what I need to shake myself out of the fog that I feel like I've been in for the last several years or if it's going to cause me to retreat even farther into myself. I don't know. I just know that I'm not alone. I walk through this, whatever this is, with my husband, two pups who think I'm the bee's knees, and the Creator of the Universe by my side.

Everything's fine.