Adventure

I've been in Beaver Falls a little over 2 weeks now and with no car and really nothing to do around here other than walking to the coffee shop, Pizza Joes, or Sub Palace...well, it can start to feel a little claustrophobic. 

I really wanted to go to the Paramore concert (ok, really the No Doubt concert with Paramore opening for them) in Phoenix before I got here, but sister was graduating from grad school in Cali so did that instead. But! Not to worry because I was excited to find out that they would be in Pitt on the 13th of June. I asked my friend, Amber, to go with and at first she thought she could, but then it turned out that her sister's baby shower was that same day and so she couldn't go. So, I was left with a quandary...stay home and miss it or suck it up and go by myself. I chose to suck it up and go.

I planned to make a whole day of it. I was going to rent a car and go to the mall (I've been having serious Nordstrom withdrawals. :) ) and then I would go to the concert. Well, my friends, Taylor and Joanna (who have been gifts from God since my arrival. Really, I praise God for them), insisted on lending me their car for the day. So, I headed out at 12 and went to the mall for several hours and then on to the concert. The feeling of getting in that car and driving away was indescribable. Freedom!

When I told people that I was going to the concert they inevitably asked who I was going with and when I told them I was going by myself the reactions varied between surprised and impressed. Most of what I heard was a variation of "wow, that's really brave of you" and I thought to myself "it's just a concert, not a big deal." And yet, when I was sitting there by myself I realized that it was a big deal and I was 100% out of my comfort zone. Most people look at me and assume that I am outgoing and engaging by nature, but this really isn't the case. If I am in my "territory" or in an environment that I am comfortable in, then yes, I am outgoing and engaging. When I am out of those places, then I become quiet and withdrawn...but no one believes me when I tell them this! So, there I was last night feeling so self-conscience and awkward. It was so uncomfortable and I hated it....until a friend texted me and I finally understood. I will never see any of those people again and so why does it matter what I look like to them? So, I got up. I danced. I sang. And I had a great time. Paramore was amazing, but No Doubt was phenomenal. I saw them 14 years ago for the first time and had forgotten that they really do put on the best concert. 

I am so glad that I went and did that. It pushed me outside of myself. And I realize that that's what this year is going to be like in Rome. I will constantly be pushing myself out of my comfort zone otherwise I can plan on spending time by myself in my tiny room. And that's just not ok with me. I don't want to waste my time or my life living like that. This world was meant to be seen and experienced. Life's too short for the alternative....