Most of my friends and family can relate to a certain point. They can tell me that they know what it is/was like to be single so they know where I'm coming from, but having been single for a short time in your teens or early 20s is where the similarities end. Yes, they have at one point been single, but I am chronically single. What does it mean to be chronically single? It means that after 32 years I haven't had a boyfriend, haven't had a first kiss, and haven't even ever been asked out on a date. Ok, I joke that I had my first kiss in preschool and my last relationship was with Ben Garthwaite in the 5th grade, I joke that I peaked in the 5th grade and, while that's all true, I don't actually count that as having experienced what my friends and family have. My friends, family, and many acquaintances, mean well when they tell me they know what's it like, but the truth is they don't have a freaking clue. There's something so utterly different from on one hand having been single, but having had dated and on the other hand having never dated, never having anyone show any interest in you in that way. They are in no way the same. And no amount of attempting to empathize will ever allow anyone to know what it feels like unless they themselves have been there....enter Sarah, the RD.
She is in her late 20s and has her first boyfriend. She'd never dated or even come close before him. Another chronic singleton. God brought us together because there's something comforting in knowing that you're not alone, that there are other people out there who know what you're feeling and aren't just trying to imagine that they do, but really do. It was so freeing being able to talk to her and not have to explain...she just gets it. She knows what it is to be content with being single because for whatever reason this is what God has for the moment, but she also knows what it is to feel like there's an aching hole inside of you the size of the Grand Canyon because everyone around you seems to be experiencing something you cannot relate to, but want to with your whole being.
I go through these highs and lows when it comes to being single, acceptance and hating it. It seems that being alone here in Beaver Falls has intensified that hating it phase. I suppose it hasn't helped that I keep hearing things like "I can't wait to hear about how you met your husband in Italy" or "Wait till you meet your Italian Stallion" or "I know you're going to meet the 'One' in Italy." I know that everyone means well, but truth be told it is the opposite of helpful. I had the chance to talk to Sarah about this the other night and was blessed by our conversation. Because she's coming from common ground, a shared perspective, she knows what it is that I need to hear now and how to minister to me. She was able to share with me how God used similar experiences in her life. I am able to accept this from her because she truly does know what it's like. It's a gift to be able to share this with her. I am grateful that I have had the opportunity to meet her, to hear her story, and to be able to watch what God has for her. I am thankful for her and for the gift that God has given me in our time together. He has an uncanny way of knowing exactly what He's doing....LOL.
No comments:
Post a Comment