Downfall of society (quite literally)

I was so pumped for this past weekend. Lots of great plans!

My roommate and I were going to see The Dark Knight on Saturday and then my best friend and I were going to go to the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale...for me, this is like Christmas come early!, and then see Mama Mia and grab dinner. It was supposed to be our last hurrah before she gives birth to her first....so I was really looking forward to it.

The weekend was off to a good start. A friend had flown in from TX for a wedding so we hung out on Friday night. Roomie and I went to the movies on Saturday. Well, almost. She parked the car while I saved seats. The theatre was packed! The only seats left were in the front section. As I looked around I spied some better seats in the top portion of the theatre. So, I left my bag on our seats and was going to go ask if the other seats were free. Suddenly time began to crawl as if someone had hit "Slow Motion." I stepped onto the carpet, or so I thought, only to miss a step I hadn't realized was there. My foot came down onto the floor and my ears were filled with a sickening "CRUNCH" as I felt my ankle give out below me. I fell to the ground with a great thud and landed hard. The wind was knocked out of me for a moment and I just laid there, partly out of shock and partly from embarrassment. Oh my gosh! I just fell in front of the entire theatre and then...pain. It seared from the tip of my toes to the top of my head. My foot felt like it had been crushed...remember the scene in Misery? (Ok, that's fairly dramatic...but I've never handled pain all that well.)

I sat up and looked around. People were staring at me. And yet, no one asked me if I was ok or needed help. NO ONE. This woman just sat there and stared at me. I was clearly in pain and she sat there looking and eating her popcorn. Then, a theatre employee walked in, looked at me, turned around, and left! He never even asked me if I was ok! I managed to pull myself up into my seat and held in the tears...if there's anything I am really good at it's holding in the tears and stuffing my emotions!

What's wrong with people!? How can they just ignore someone who has obviously been injured? I know if I were in their shoes (or seats actually) I would have been prompted to act. Is it just that I was raised better than they were? Did my parents do a better job? I don't necessarily think so. I think that slowly, but surely our society has become numb to actual human interaction. Think about it....we live in an age where the means for which we can communicate are limitless and yet...we don't have any real contact. It's no longer good enough to talk to a person on our phones...we text. We no longer get together with our friends...we 'hook' up with them on myspace or Facebook. We no longer write...we email. We're so segregated from all real human interaction that when we need people the most they don't know how to engage. We are killing our culture! It scares me to think about our nation's future. Will we all end up staying in our homes and working from a computer so that we can avoid all types of interpersonal contact? If so, how do we survive? How do we thrive?

The answer is: we don't. We were created for relationship. First, relationship with God our Father thru Jesus Christ. Secondly, with humankind. We weren't meant to walk this life alone. We were created to interact, communicate, and help others. It just seems to me that we're ignoring or losing this crucial part of what makes us human. Nearly every species on earth was created for community....it's interesting to me that humans look for ways to create better avenues of communication/community, but what ends up happening is isolation.

So, if you were sitting in the Metro mall Harkins theatre on Saturday, July 19 for the 3:00pm showing of The Dark Knight, saw me fall and failed to have the human decency to ask me how I was: SHAME ON YOU. I hope and pray that you never have to experience the hurt that comes with the realization that no one cares to reach out and engage. Shame on you and shame on me if I have ever made anyone feel like this...God forgive me.

I Just Got a Facial

My blog just got a facial by The Blog Spa! Yours can too! Check out www.theblogspa.blogspot.com for more information.

Thank God for Jazzercise!

Seriously, I thank Him for it! Not only is it a great work out and so much fun...it's a great stress reliever! Last night not only did we dance, but also did some kick boxing. Love it! It helps to get all of my aggression and pent up anger out in a healthy way. Hey. Would you rather I go around hitting people?!

Also...hello! So excited! They have Jazzercise in Italy! So, if I move to Rome...I can still Jazzercise. How cool is that?

I signed up for Italian class last night...so be prepared for some posts this Fall in Italiano! Fantastico!

Unto God...not man

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men" Colossians 3:23

This should be the verse that I repeat to myself every day; over and over again in my head this verse should tumble around. Then, when I feel the frustration rising up within me; the anger and the annoyance start to bubble over I will think upon this verse of Scripture and remember that it is God I work for...no one else. When I am asked to do the same thing over and over, I will remember that it is God I work for...no one else. When I am told things that don't make sense, I will remember that it is God I work for...no one else. And finally, when I feel as though I can't go on, that I've reached the end of my rope, that the straw has broken this camel's back...I will remember that I work for the Lord....and no one else.

May He be my refuge, my Strength, my Rock, my Comforter and my Deliverer. May I work to glorify the King and not for my own glory or of men. Then, His peace will guide me in my days when I keep focused on Him and not the quicksand that I have been resting on.

Thanks Lees for this reminder. May it not depart my head or heart. To God be the glory!

Fantastico!

God is so good!! Just when I wanted to give up hope of ever hearing anything about Rome I received an email from the Director of the program. I was immeadiately convinced that I didn't get an interview since I received the email. You don't want the email...it's never good. You want the phone call asking you for the interview. I began to read and as I did my heart fell. The first paragraph thanked me for applying and my patience. The second paragraph began with this has been a difficult decision...and then the words I've been dying to hear (or in this case read): "The committee was impressed with your experience and application materials and would liketo interview you by phone on July 31 sometime between the hours of 10a.m. and 5 p.m." YAY!!!!!! I screamed at the top of my lungs and began to jump up and down. I got an interview! Out of 33 applicants I was selected (with 6 other people) for an interview! Praise God!



I was really scared that I wouldn't get an interview and that would lead me to what I feared the most...that I would lose hope and trust in God. I say this not from an intellectual place because I know with my head that He never leaves me, never forsakes me, and that His plans for my life are far better than anything I could ever imagine. Rather, I say this from my heart. So often I have seen or experienced a taste of what I think is best for me only to have it be taken away or not fulfilled and I am sad to say that with every time that happens I close myself off a little more. I've learned so much in the last two years about living life in the open, trusting God with my heart and who He has made me to be that I don't want to go back to not allowing God and people to see my heart. So, thank you Jesus for this opportunity. Let me glorfiy You and abide in whatever it is that is Your best for me...

Slap happy

Ok. Calm down. Think. Pray. This is what I've been telling myself for the last 45 minutes since I left a meeting with my boss. Breathe. Pray. Calm down. Pray. I am not a violent person, but I've got to tell you I could have been one today. Never before have I wanted to hit someone so hard! I wanted to reach across the desk and smack her. Ahhhhhh!!!!! This is only the beginning!

I have loved my job for the last 3 years. That has changed in only one week! All of the freedom, creativity, and enjoyment that I loved has been sucked from me. Now, I just feel bitter, angry, and annoyed. It's only been a week! I want so much to love her like Jesus loves her, to see her as He does....but the truth is I don't. When I see her, my blood pressure rises. I can feel my pulse race and I want to hit her. What am I becoming?! Who is this person that rages on inside of me? For all that is holy and sacred, help me Lord!

I know it's melodramatic. That in all reality, it's not that bad. It's just that there's no need for all of this. There's no reason it should be like this. We were fine the way we were...we were doing great. There were no issues. So why is it then that there's suddenly all of this upheaval? What's that all about?

I don't know...all I do know is though is Lord, please let me get the job in Rome!!!!!!!!

Change happens

So, I was telling a friend of mine yesterday that I feel like my blog has gotten way too serious. I want some lighthearted moments! But no! Once again....change. I hate change. I can't even begin to describe how much I abhor change. For the most part, change in my life hasn't meant good. It's almost always meant heartache, sadness, and lonliness. So, if that's the case why would I ever look forward to change?? I know some people who thrive on change...what in the world is wrong with them? Change sucks!
I think that for the most part what's hard for me right now is how much and how fast change is coming in my life. I can handle a little at a time, but when I feel like it's all happening at break-neck speed...well, I can't handle that! It's too much too soon. I want stability, I want continuity, I want dependability.
I guess that's one of those things that makes me long for heaven. I can't wait for time with Jesus that will never end, there will be no sadness, there will be no "restructures." Rather, we'll be at peace, have never ending joy, and dance on streets of gold. Sigh. That sounds amazing. Oh....come soon Lord Jesus, come soon!